#and then started calling the Doctor Gandalf. just. casually.

[roxannepolice]

Simm!Master being the first Master to make a LOTR reference makes me wonder if he's the first to have read or watched it.

And if he's the author of every single one of all four Gandalf x Saruman works on fanfiction.net.

[jq37]

so...... thoughts on the first ep?

**spoilers for start spreading the news**

What is UP you guys? The new season of Dimension 20 is out and your girl is back (implies I left, which is false) with only the hottest of takes.

Usually I vomit up my opinions with little rhyme or reason and, don't worry, I'm not changing that format any time soon. But, because of the structure of the episode, I think it'll be easier to use headings and go through each character/element of this. So let's do this y'all!

The Setting

I think the best thing you can do as a writer or a creative person in general is the make something that only you could make, you know? Like, make the thing that only someone with your specific life experiences and weird brain could have come up with. And I really think that this is that for Brennan. I already talked about this in other posts, but the version of NYC that Brennan created for this game is that to me. Like, magical NY has been done, but the specific details? Who else could have written, "The annual SantaCon is actually Santa dumping all of his defective clones into NYC where the magic barrier that keeps normals from seeing magic will disguise them and the protectors of the city will be able to deal with them"? That's so specific and so wild and so New York and so Brennan.

And I haven't lived in NY for so long but I've had one winter here and the way he describes what it's like to walk down the street during winter in the city is so real. Like smelling garbage then laundry detergent then sugared nuts from those corner stands and you're freezing and then baking in the subway in your coat. That was so so real. (I will be saying this phrase a lot so get used to it now)

And I like that he didn't make the obvious choices, you know? Like we've had three, like, magical figureheads across D20 and those are usually classic old, white, possibly British roles, you know? Like a Gandalf or a Dumbledore. But he had Aguefort in FH and now Esther and Alejandro in TUS. I just think it's cool that we're getting some different archetypes to fill these roles instead of the same dude c.p'd in again, you know?

Also, the fantasy NYC map is so dope. I wanna go back and try to read everything on it when I have the chance. 

Pete

Ally is a DRUG DEALER. I thought Pete was gonna be a stripper but he's a DRUG DEALER. Honestly, I could have figured this out sooner if I'd just checked Urban Dictionary like I did just now and found out that "plug" means "someone who is a resource for obtaining something valuable that would otherwise be difficult to obtain" or, more simply, "drug dealer". But I'm glad I didn't because it was much more fun to find out in real time.

Ally makes some character choices sometimes that are too specific to not be rooted in life experience and that whole microwave cheese monologue was one of them.

Pete's official diagnosis is that he has "a lot going on."

Ally almost won MVP line of the episode with, "Shot my tits off." Murph losing it in the background killed me almost more than the actual line.

I really, really want Pete's doctor to be a recurring character because he is wild in how wild he isn't. He has so much wild stuff happening around him and he is in a wild line of work but he seems like a relatively stable guy. I love him. Also, the completely wrong cadence he used to say, "lgbt ally" was gold.

Is Ally ever gonna have a character with a good relationship with their parents? One time? Ever?

I literally don't even know how to begin to address the wild magic trip Pete went on. Like, I don't think Ally knew what they were doing when they decided to be a wild magic sorcerer. I don't think they knew what kind of challenge they were issuing to Brennan. And after seeing the wild nonsense Brennan consistently came up with for Jer'ih'meh in Bloodkeep, I can't want to see the insanity he spits out for Pete.

"You're the one who they they wanted to play a wild magic sorcerer."

Also, Brennan just using lyrics from "New York, New York" for whatever dream demon or whatever was going on in that trip was, like, equal parts clever and hilarious. Sidenote, do you think all the ep titles are gonna be from songs about NY? I mean, there are enough songs I bet.

Pete has this thing where he constantly lands on the exact wrong part of the situation to focus on. Like later when he gets stuffed in the magic closet at the hospital and he's like, "Hospitals are so advanced, also go much is this gonna cost?" Ally's comic timing on that is always perfect.

WILD that that was the first intro. Like, way to kick off the new season with a bang.  I really wonder what this episode would have felt like if this was the last intro or if the intro for the two normal people hadn’t been right at the top. Actually now that I’m editing, I feel like we almost got the intros from least experienced w/ this stuff to most experienced. Because Pete is a total noob. Sophia is also a noob but she has met Kugrash at least once. Then you have Ricky who’s only been in this for about a year. Then Kingston who probably has more experience than Kug by years but Kug has been a rat man his whole life (presumably). Finally Misty who is probably like a BS amount of years old and steeped in this stuff. Honestly,  if I was DM’ing, I might have fudged the die rolls to look exactly like how it turned out. 

Sophia

Emily describing her character and slipping into her character voice gradually as she went on was so pro.

"Like if Fran Dresher went on an Amy Winehouse bender." I love her.

"Did you not want baby bangs?"

"She's a WHOO-OAR."

I'm gonna die if Brennan make than woman an actual succubus because of an offhanded comment.

My favorite thing is when Emily is saying some nonsense and she can barely even get through it without breaking. Also, Murph is so visibly amused by Emily's entire intro. It's great.

I love that both of the "normal" characters spent most of this episode intoxicated in one way or another.

So Emily absolutely won the episode in my eyes for coming up with one of the sickest burns I've heard and in real time. A dude tells her to read his dick and she, after only a momentary pause, says, "No I'm not gonna read your dick (beat) because I don't read short stories!" Brennan doesn't even make her roll. He just narrates her success. The table goes wild. The bar she's at goes wild. Zac specifically is cracking up. Like, I feel like this is gonna be a little bit of a deep cut reference but did any of you ever play the Monkey Island games and do the insult swordfighting? That's what that scene was. Amazing.

Murph's, like, entire posture and expression (@ 1:24ish) when Emily is saying Sophia thinks she saw a giant rat man who gave her an egg sandwich and Gatorade is total gold.

"Gotta kill some brain cells to kill the ones with the memory of Dale in them."

OK so funny story (funny to me at least) at the Fantasy High live show, I was talking to some other girls who were there and we ended up talking about how the small of a woman's back is basically the worst place you can casually touch them outside of the really bad places and how viscerally terrible it is so when Brennan said one of the trolls touched one of the girls there and Sophie/Emily was like BIG NOPE, I had a That's So Raven flashback to that conversation immediately.

Emily leaps into action...and rolls a nat 1 to fight a bunch of trolls. She actually does really well in the rest of the fight though so that's good.  

Oh, also Siobhan made everyone dope themed dice boxes!

Ricky

I hope Dimension 20 runs for the next 10 years and I hope Zac plays a good, big, doofus in every single season.

"He's basically like Superman if Superman were Japanese." Love.

Also, I love the distinction that he's 5' 8" but buff.

Ricky surrounded by a raging fire: First of all, that's a cool bear.

I like the way that Brennan skinned the cleric and paladin powers for this game so they're more about values than deities. I was wondering how it was gonna work in this setting and I think this was such a cool way to handle it.  

I really think Brennan has a great handle of presenting certain things in such a way that it's interesting for the players as well as the audience. Like, when Ricky is trying to escape the burning apartment, he puts an obstacle in his way that forces him to use his Paladin powers (to create water specifically). It's not really a hard "puzzle" or something he has to roll for, but it introduces to the audiences that he's not just a firefighter. I just think it's really cool that he's able to pull off narrative things like that without actually controlling the characters. (And, props to the players too, of course, for being so consistently entertaining).

"Mr. March."

Ricky in the middle of the winter: I'm not as tan as I used to be.

Ricky rooftop runs like a freaking superhero.

OK, this is barely related to what I'm talking about right now but it's important to me that you all know this. I commented in an earlier post that Ricky clearly had circus music playing in his head at all times and then I was like, "Hmm, I wonder what that one circus song is called." You know, the song that you think about immediately when you hear the phrase "circus music" so I looked it up and APPARENTLY it is a CZECH MILITARY MARCH known alternately as (brace yourselves) ENTRY OF THE GLADIATORS and THUNDER AND BLAZES. I kid you not. That's actually what that song is called. I called my brother and told him immediately. OK, back on topic.

Is a questing blade a thing? I feel like it's a Thing from legend or fairy tales or something but, when I Google it, I come up with basically nothing.

Does Ricky have a thing for Esther or is he just a super awkward texter and nice guy who does not want to be set up by his sister for a different reason?

I need Brennan to explain how the Santa Question works in this world. The question being, "Why don't parents freak about the gifts they're not buying?" and, side question, "Why don't poor kids get presents?" My go-to answers are always, "He Jedi Mind Tricks into thinking they bought them," and, "He has to work within each family's socio-economic means in order to not be obvious." So there are def plausible answers. But, like, this is something I like to see addressed when we're doing the "Santa is real," thing.  

"I grew up with twins and one of them was worse than the others so that makes sense."

"Is Santa good?"/"The ethics of it are alarming, I won't lie."

So, my paranoid thought for this episode is I'm a little Concerned that someone down the line (maybe Esther, but hopefully not) is going to take advantage of Ricky's Big Dumb energy and his "It's the right thing to do," mentality and manipulate him into doing something Not Great. Like, it's not based on anything besides mainlining a ton of media over the past 24 years but I'm just gonna keep an eye out.

Re the Santa/Peppermint Zombification: Hey Brennan, turn your location on. I just wanna talk.

I have to say, from the bottom of my heart, what the hell?

That creeped me out in the same way that episode of Adventure time where Princess Bubblegum (infused with the primal elemental candy energy or whatever) turned everyone into Candy people and everyone started singing Let Me Call You Sweetheart. What a weirdly specific body horror thing for me to encounter more than once. That one peppermint tooth thing is gonna haunt me. 

Kingston

I gotta say, props to Lou for pulling a complete 180 on the kind of character he picked this time around. He went from playing this super extra rich pretty boy to this salt of the Earth quasi patriarch and he's just as comfortable with it. Kingston is so real. I went to church with like 50 guys like him back home.

Why are you fighting so hard about free food Kingston? Take the free homecooked food Kingston!

The intensity of his, "I will be here until I die," was hysterical.

Mentioned this before but I love the flavoring of the cleric class where instead of being attuned to a deity Kingston is basically attuned to the entire city. Also, the perks are excellent. Bus service anywhere for free. Sign me up.

I like that Ricky's sister works at the hospital. It's a really cool potential connection for later.

"We're gonna take the thing outchyo butt. We're not gonna deny you medical services."

"Aint nothing wrong with being a freak." --Kingston Brown

Fantasy creatures having to deal with updated tech (like the Toll bridge trolls talking about EZ-passes) is one of my fave urban fantasy tropes.

"I've got a really sweet smelling man here!"

"Yeah, my tooth fell out and now it's a candy. Hey, how much is this gonna cost?" This is what I’m talking about. Priorities my dude.

I love that Kingston knows Pete's weird mob doctor. It seems like part of his deal is that he just knows everything about everyone in the city (within whatever parameters).

Pete says, in quick succession about Ricky, "I feel like he would bully me," and, "He seems like a golden retriever," which I feel are almost mutually exclusive statements.

Kugrash

Well, I asked what kind of druid nonsense was happening in Central Park and the answer is Murph apparently.

I really wish I could have been there when Murph announced he wanted to play a literal rat.

"I am the shit that feeds the flies. A dumpster druid."

"Wherever you are rat Jesus, I love you." You're killing me Brennan.

Aww Kugrash goes around feeding the homeless and stuff. He's like this grumpy ass rat man who really cares about the community.

"Santa you fucking bum." --Kugrash

"I'm sorry are you a rat?"

The idea of a roach with a hobo sack pisses me off because it's adorable but roaches are the worst.

"Is Santa dead?"/"I don't know. I'm not religious."

"Santa Claus is real and he's DEAD."

Brennan loves to use the modifiers "full" and "fully" and I have picked it up irl and in my writing.

"Let's get a little fucked up and go see if Santa's dead!"

Just that whole squirrel interaction.

The sixth borough huh? Interesting. I see you Brennan.

Also, the detail that Kug's clothes are made from old MTA vests is great.

Misty

Siobahn is playing basically exactly the character I thought she'd be playing but she's doing it so much better and more extra than I could have imagined.

"A lady would never say her age, so I won't."

Is her pianist magic or something too? I have my suspicions.

So Misty gets some kind of bard and/or fairy high from praise and adoration which is interesting.

What kind of weird, morally dubious and/or unpleasant fae thing is Misty gonna have to do soonish? It's not gonna be good. Fae stuff never is.

DON CONFETTI

"I don't study magic. I just *am* magic."

So many of these intro vignettes end with, "You don't know that...but you do know who does." Like I said before, I really love the weaving together of all the story threads to get everyone in the same place at the same time in an organic feeling way.

Also he makes all these transitions sound cinematic, like he's writing the description parts of a movie script and not narrating in person.

Public Library! I knew we'd end up here eventually but I didn't know it'd be pretty much immediately. Like, if you're going w/ the "NY is magic" premise, the library has to figure in, you know?

Emily immediately having Sophia recognize Ricky as Mr. March was such a funny and on point character decision. I love how one-off, spur of the moment lines end up being running jokes because other players pick on them and drop them an hour later.

"Are you a rat?"/"Yeah, I'm a rat man!"/"I'm sorry if that was rude."

Brennan: The lions are alive and they're boyfriends.

Misty and Siobhan both are genre savvy enough to want to nip a knights/knave door puzzle situation in the bud.

Ricky on escape rooms: I'm not very good at them but I can definitely try my hardest. (Guys, I love him so much.)

Love me some MC Escher steps.

Underrated Misty line: It's all infernal to me.

Misty's little, "Ugh" at learning they have to go to Times Square is the real NY experience.

Is this Alejandro dude gonna die? What's the over under on this dude eating it very soon?

Misty encouraging Pete to shoot Alejandro is so needlessly chaotic which is a common fae trait and I really hope this escalates.

I dunno what Murph rolled for initiative but he looks like he just shamed his entire family line.

And we’re fighting an army of crazed Santa clones next week! We have literally just started and we are already fully off the rails.  I cannot *wait* to see where we go from here if this is the *starting point*. 

[alittlesliceofcucumber]

You Already Know My Name: Chapter 4

Doctor Who / Hetalia Crossover A story about how The Doctor met his favourite country. And how he watched England fall. Whatever he did, he was destined to always end up alone. Feedback is greatly appreciated! https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12836923/4/You-Already-Know-My-Name

Chapter 4: The Meeting

4th Doctor

The Doctor found himself standing outside a mansion in the middle of a forest on the outskirts of Manchester. It looked old, with vines clinging on to the large stone walls. He felt adrenaline flood his veins; he was finally going to meet England. 

England had always been his favourite country. It was something about the place that The Doctor couldn’t keep himself from coming back to. Of course, Scotland came up as a close second. He knocked a little tune on the wooden door. Almost instantly a familiar voice called out from inside “Come in! The door’s unlocked. I’m in the living room!” England’s voice.

Cautiously The Doctor opened the door, which was indeed unlocked. He was greeted by antique-looking furniture scattered throughout a hallway which was lined with portraits, with a few black and white photographs here and there. The Doctor could sense the many memories contained within each one. At the end of the hallway, was a partially open door with light coming through. Assuming this was the one England was in, he took a deep breath and entered. Immediately he felt whatever he had been planning on saying slip through his mind, and he took off his hat and simply stared open-mouthed at the man before him.

England was shorter than himself but only by a few inches. He had a slender build (too slender thought The Doctor) and pale skin. He had a mop of short, spiky, blonde hair which complemented his eyes. His bright, forest green eyes, which made The Doctor’s hearts feel heavy. The only time he’d seen eyes like that was when he looked in a mirror. Eyes beyond age. Eyes that bore unbearable knowledge. Eyes that one could easily find themselves lost in, if they stared for too long.

The Doctor realised he was still staring. England only seemed to smile. The Doctor noticed the slight quiver in his lips as he did so, and he felt like as much as this smile was genuine, it wasn’t a natural gesture. That made him feel sad for the boy.

He caught himself in his thoughts. Boy. While the person in front of him was by no means a boy, he still seemed so young. Only just an adult.

He was wearing a white shirt with a tweed waistcoat. Casual-wear, in Victorian times. Looking closer at England’s face The Doctor noticed that just under his eyes was a light dusting of barely noticeable freckles, and there seemed to be light markings all over his skin. His stomach lurched when he realised that they weren’t markings at all. They were scars. “You look so… young.” Was what he finally managed to utter, immediately kicking himself for starting with such a comment.

England was unfazed and simply gestured for The Doctor to sit down in a nearby armchair. “So do you.” Was his gentle reply.

Once England himself had also sat down, The Doctor felt himself staring yet again as he clasped one of England’s hands and began to draw circles around his palm. “You’re so... beautiful. As a personification, I mean. To be honest I was half expecting Gandalf. But you! Your light hair, the sand surrounding the edge of the island. Your hard, cold hands, your experience in work and battle. Your eyes, the green of the land, the grass and woodland. Your pale skin, the lack of sunny days. Everything makes sense, and creates something so beautiful.” England withdrew his hand and blushed slightly at The Doctor’s comments. “Thank you, but I don’t believe that means anything. I mean, our appearances really don’t mean much, but it does makes sense the way you put it.” He sighed. He wasn’t used to The Doctor staring at him. “Also, who’s Gandalf?” he added. The Doctor chuckled, before immediately slapping a hand over his own mouth. “Forget I said anything, it’s not been written yet.”

“If you insist.”

There was an odd time where the friends just stared at each other, neither daring to start conversation.

“You didn’t have a plan for once we met, did you?” “No.” “Fair enough.

“Oh my, where on Earth are my manners? Happy new year, Doctor!” Said England.

“I still can’t believe you set aside an entire year just for meeting with me.” The Doctor replied.

“Like I said in my letter, Doctor, I owe you my life. But unfortunately I have a rather busy life so I can only spare a year. You’d better be happy, I’ve left the idiots I call brothers to look after the country while I’m away.” “Brothers?” Asked The Doctor in surprise. “I didn’t think you could have family. Unless… tell me England, does Scotland happen to be one of your brothers?”

“...Yes.” England admitted. The Doctor realised it was a sore spot, as his friend seemed to shuffle uncomfortably. He opened his mouth to change the subject but England beat him to it.

“How did you figure me out, in the future?” He asked.

“Oh, you left little thank you notes every now and again.” Answered The Doctor.

England sighed. “I had hoped that would only be a one-time thing. It seems my plans to be cryptic failed miserably.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, I would love to know more about you. Your existence intrigues me.”

“Oh Doctor, where do I begin?”

And for once The Doctor kept his mouth shut as he listened to the stories of his old friend.

The Doctor often visited England in 1902. They would have a cup of tea and chat things over, each learning more about the other. Whenever he found himself alone, visiting England was always first on The Doctor’s to-do list. Regeneration after regeneration, England was always indifferent about The Doctor’s appearance. But he was in no place to judge, after all he was stuck in the same year whilst The Doctor had gone through 30.

Every now and again, after learning a particularly painful part of England’s past, The Doctor would go and yell at whichever human had done wrong to his friend. He never dared to even attempt to confront a country, though. He knew his limits to meddling with time.

Present England uncovered pleasant new memories from whenever The Doctor and his past self met, and it would always cheer him up. The Doctor had grown to be his closest non-magical friend, and that feeling seemed to be mutual. The Doctor loved having a friend that didn’t grow old, and would always be there for England, albeit at the same time in the same setting. Being best friends with his favourite country was certainly a first for The Doctor, but if anything it made him more determined to protect it at all costs. Especially at Christmas time. He had witnessed some times where the country was affected in 1902 and that would have a toll on England right in front of his eyes. It made The Doctor feel sorry for him, having that multiple millenia long responsibility to one planet, and to have to watch his people be born and die in a seemingly endless cycle.

But sometimes The Doctor wanted to take on that responsibility for the sake of his own fallen people.